On Nicholson St in Carlton.
I love the heritage of some of these signs. They have an earnest artlessness that imparts a real sense of place and time. Artlessness isn’t something that goes much with marketing, where the awareness and associations tend to be managed to the nth degree. Even seeming artlessness is often highly staged, such as RACV’s Jason call centre ads or iinet’s BOB. I reckon there’s a case for preserving as much true, authentic artlessness as you can find in a heritage brand. Where people have become wary of agency schmick and having their psychology over-understood, artlessness is a refreshing reminder of a different meaning for consumer orientation.

Private public transport is a joke in Melbourne: everyone blaming everyone else. Unless Kosky wants to get Japan Rail to run our trains (get them to bring their brilliant PASMO cards with them too and dump MYKI) then I think the Government should bring our public transport back under public management, if only to quench the blame cycle. For a nuanced analysis of who might really be to blame, this is interesting.

Kosky says that private operators bring “innovation and international experience.” I really can’t see how Connex’s innovation (what innovation?) and experience are worth the $589 million that Connex pocketed in 2007 for running the network. The real reason is probably more like that Kosky doesn’t want to run a public transport system. Bring the transport back into public hands and invest the $589m in upgrading and extending the infrastructure. Trains to Chadstone, Doncaster, Monash and Melbourne Unis would be a good start.

Yes I am one of those suburban types who likes to pour scorn on anything beyond the perimeter of my usual traversal – i.e. anything much beyond, say, Camberwell in the East, Yarraville in the West, Brunswick in the North and Brighton in the South. And that’s being generous. But I had heard whispers that the new Donny Shoppo (hereinafter DS) was a bit swisho and frankly I wanted to disprove such notions. The last time I went to DS was probably more than 10 years ago, and short of tearing the whole thing down I couldn’t see how you could improve it.

To paraphrase something I read somewhere recently, consumerism is based on the idea that we can all live like kings. (If someone knows who I’m paraphrasing, please tell me! It’s killing me!) Anyway, this insight seems to have been taken to considerable lengths at DS. With its sweeping spiral staircases, grand promenades, spacious air-conditioned vistas and momentously over-capitalised shops, its Chesterfield-infested “loungerooms” interspersed along the corridors and its concierge-style services, DS is certainly consumer indulgence on a massive scale.

The ranges of shops is awe-inspiring… Coles and Safeway, Myer and David Jones, Target and Big W. Not to mention suburban unlikelies including Bally, Calibre, Alannah Hill, MaxMara, Sass & Bide, Mecca, Lacoste, That Shop, Christensen Copenhagen… this is city-centre shopping comes to the suburbs.

Like a good acolyte of pomo architectural theory I want to start yawning about place – how these shopping behemoths are somehow “placeless”, they lack the variegation and patina of the “real” city.
On the other hand though, what about both/and? Isn’t this architecture entirely appropriate for this time and this place? And doesn’t variegation, all-too-often synonymous with civic dilapidation yet embraced by social elites as “texture” – hasn’t that now been shown to breed crime? DS steps lightly around such ideas. The shops’ interior designers have done a good job of de-homogenisation on many shops – Mecca has an intriguingly decontextualised barrel roof, some shops have timber shopfronts a la 19th century. But in the best nature of self-convenient pomo adherence it’s STILL incredibly disorienting and good luck finding your way out. There aren’t nearly enough maps. Oh but of course, play, not purpose. Oops I forgot. Only the right kinds of play and the right kinds of purpose, i.e. the ones that make you spend the most money.

We had a very nice latte and a passable pizza. We wandered round and we nearly bought stuff. We marvelled at the state-of-the-art parking guidance system. (follow the green lights!) And the acres upon acres of shops. And the attractive food hall. And the (rather distant) views of the city through the enormous glass walls of the Food Court. I felt slightly dirty and slightly dirtier when I realised I might be
enjoying myself.

BTW My photos are here, but they’re not terribly representative. You can get a better idea on Flickr.

Yesterday I went to cool Cibi nestled in a completely non-descript, signless building in the backblocks of Fitzroy. It offers a Japanese-style breakfast (pretty authentic) and also has a cool shop selling quality Japanese merch, like Hakusan porcelain. The shop reminds me a lot of Do in the Claska Hotel in Gakugeidaigaku.

Totalling up the preference votes democratically, you get this:

52 Singer
56 Fowles
56 Ng
58 Bandt
63 McMullin
65 Morgan
67 Crawford
69 Columb
72 Doyle
80 Roberts
88 Toscano

Singer is the most popular among the candidates, Toscano, a “radical activist(s) who have over eighty years experience combating the state, corporate capitalism and bureaucracy”, is the least popular.

Another interesting measure on this one was to see who got the most “2″ votes – i.e. who the candidate would prefer you to vote for, were they not running. Here, Fowles wins with 3 votes out of 11.

If you take this order of popularity and weight the opinion of the candidates based on the popularity of their peers (more popular = more important opinion) hardly anything changes. Probably you wouldn’t expect it to.

The spreadsheet I used to crank this out is here, if you’re interested.

Trains are marvelous especially if activity centres are built around them, a la Tokyo, god I love you Tokyo, which is all the more reason why, as well as not building more meaningful rail, the government needs to SPIT IN GEOFFREY RUSH’S FACE and adhere to the Melbourne 2030 plan, and moreover, build BIG 20-STOREY RESIDENTIAL TOWERS ALL OVER the area near Camberwell station  so that Melbourne is workable, rather than acquiescing to the whinging of NIMBY namby-pamby thespians who are under the illusion that shitty old Camberwell station is worth preserving, if you don’t mind. Obviously too busy driving to Braaaaaghton in his Bentley to notice it’s an OLD FASHIONED ABLUTIONS BLOCK with no architectural merit whatsoever. Inner Melbourne needs to be BUILT UP and FAST – I understand heritage values but really, sweethearts, not everything is worth preserving, and we need a NETWORK of trains that can get us all from A to B without the need for our gas-guzzling cars.

All of the above and CAN WE PLEASE STOP BUILDING MORE OUTER SUBURBS THAT ARE MORE THAN AN HOUR FROM THE CBD where people live in gross isolation from culture and humanity and interest and services and anything else that makes life and urbanism vaguely livable. And while we’re at it can we create a virus that prevents people from believing they need a 1/4 acre block and a triple garage to enjoy life.

DENSITY, PEOPLE! EMBRACE IT!

[end rant]